Thursday, April 22, 2010

Devil, devil do you know my name?

As I wait for my chicken concoction to cook, I am faced with a certain dilemma that I fear all have experienced. But first, I am attempting to make Greek Chow mein ( not actually a Greek food) with chicken. Chicken pieces, over rice and sauteed mushrooms as my vegetable of choice with a fantastic tomato sauce over top and melted feta cheese. We shall see how it turns out. Anyone noticed my cooking using variations of the same ingredients? I am too mediterranean for my own good. And I don't know how to cook pork, though I might guess it's quite similar to chicken.
My dilemma is, "Where am I going?" I continue to be faced with the idea of having to leave Greece, which appears implausible. I will have to leave for a short time, but over the course of the past few weeks/ months I've developed ways to come back. I feel I have developed a life for myself here that I do not wish to replace. But let's say I have to stay in the states, by some horrible mishap. What would I do with myself? My degree is for what? An interesting and new field no doubt, but where does it give me a job? Internationally? That's ambiguous. What do I like? Everything. Literature, architecture, art.. oh how I miss painting and, law, international relations. The list continues. At which point does something click that says - this is for me? My latest goal is simply this, to do whatever makes me happy.. until it doesn't. I do not want a career. I want a city I love. Be that Thessaloniki, or my dearest Philadelphia, or wherever I discover next. What I want out of life involves a contenment in where I live, this is the essence of me. I elect to find jobs that keep me there. For Thessaloniki, I could teach English, Philadelphia... I could write, I could start a business, be a hairstylist :-). The one thing I know about myself is that I do not have to prove my intelligence, I feel that is something apparent upon meeting me. In the way I speak and carry myself, I will always represent a bright-eyed, cynical, cultured, perceptive, intelligent...cocky... individual. My job therefore does not dictate how I am represented. Perhaps to some cutting hair is a job for those who saw it as their last available option, for me it's an opportunity to do something fun.. and social. Why does your job have to be "smart" for you to be "smart"?

I will revolve my life around the place I want to be, because the place I want to be is the place that I feel truly me.

What a fluffy blog!

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